Month: January 2026

Posted on

Love Your Immigrant Neighbor

The immigration crisis is perceived as a security crisis. Perhaps it is. But it is also a political crisis. It points up the need for a comprehensive, humane and workable immigration policy, suited to our national interest.

It is a diplomatic crisis raising questions about U.S. policy toward neighboring countries in Latin America. In some of these countries, gang violence, human trafficking, and sometimes authoritarian governments, exploit the people. These factors prompt thousands of them to become refugees.

No person of compassion can fail to be moved by the plight of these people. If we still believe that human rights are a foundation of our American national character, then we will see this crisis as a humanitarian crisis.

Thomas Jefferson, in the Declaration of Independence, dated July 4, 1776, wrote the “self-evident” truth that all people are “created equal and are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights,” especially the right to life and freedom. This is a reason we speak of American exceptionalism and greatness.

This understanding of human dignity is rooted in the teachings of the Bible. It says God created mankind in his own image. Human rights are derived from the fact that human beings bear the image of God. This is what it means to be human. Human rights, dignity, and equality are bestowed by our Maker, not by any government.

If we believe and live by the Bible, this truth will influence our opinions about foreign policy, criminal justice, the rights of the unborn, economic policy, and political platforms. Biblical values should, I believe, guide our thinking about immigration and the refugee crisis.

Jesus quoted the Hebrew scriptures when he taught us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. Justice and compassion for foreigners were priorities of the laws given through Moses.

For example, the words of Deuteronomy 10:18-19 are restated in different ways throughout the Bible: “He (God) defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you. . . . And you are to love those who are foreigners, for you yourselves were foreigners in Egypt.”

Jesus teaches his followers that they serve him when they show hospitality to strangers (Matthew 25:35). If this Christian ethic governs our lives as individuals, then it makes sense to me that this same value system should influence our national policy. After all, we are a government “of the people,” and it is the beliefs of the people that inform our response to issues such as immigration.

The Bible provides us with a way of thinking about immigrants and refugees. Of course, we should be concerned about border security and the rule of law. This too is a moral issue. But obsessive fear, ethnic bigotry, and inflammatory rhetoric are contrary to the Christian way of living.

Those who are willing to be guided by the teachings of the Bible will recognize that immigrants have the same God-given human rights and dignity as those who were born here. Whatever conclusions “we the people” come to about immigration policy, should be influenced by these truths.

Pastor Randy Faulkner

 

Posted on

How to Have a Good Fight

Try this True/False quiz. (1) Some conflict in married life is normal. (2) Conflicts do not always result in arguments. (3) Unresolved conflicts damage marriages. (4) Each time an old conflict resurfaces, without resolution, the “problem” becomes more acute. (5) Managing conflict is a sign of emotional maturity.

How did you answer? In fact all five answers are true!

When I was pastor of Calvary Baptist Church of Covington, Kentucky, on two occasions the church hosted marriage enrichment conferences featuring Tim and Beverly LaHaye. They had an effective ministry to the hundreds of people who attended these conferences.

One of the reasons was their transparency. I was surprised when Dr. LaHaye admitted to the crowd that in earlier years he and his wife had struggled with unresolved conflicts in their marriage. He said that he’d had a problem with anger and she would respond with silence and withdrawal. “By the time we were 12 years into our marriage, we had become two strong-willed personalities of the opposite sex who lived in the same house, shared the same children, held the same spiritual values, but disagreed on almost everything else.”

He told how, through the ministry of Christian psychologist Henry Brandt, he confronted his anger, selfishness, and hypocrisy. As he surrendered to the Holy Spirit, God began to change their marriage from “joint bullheadedness” to love, joy and peace. LaHaye taught the congregation about the importance of facing conflicts with the help of the Holy Spirit and honest communication.

John Gottman wrote, “A marriage that endures is based on the ability of the husband and wife to work through the conflicts that inevitably arise in any relationship. Contrary to popular belief, it is no sign of marital health to claim, ‘we never fight.’ Growth comes through resolving differences.”

Stephen Covey wrote about a conversation he had with a man who was worried about his marriage. “My wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don’t love her anymore and she doesn’t love me. What can I do?”

Covey asked, “The feeling isn’t there anymore?” “That’s right, and we have three children we’re really concerned about. What do you suggest?”

“Love her,” Covey answered.  The man responded, “I told you, the feeling isn’t there anymore. “Love her.” “You don’t understand. The feeling of love just isn’t there.” Covey said, “Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.”

“But how do you love when you don’t love?” “My friend,” Covey replied, “love is a verb. Love — the feeling — is a fruit of love, the verb. So, love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”

He was right. It has been said that it is easier to act your way into a new way of feeling than to feel your way into a new way of acting. According to Covey’s explanation, and the Bible’s, love is an action. It is a sign of maturity to subordinate one’s feelings to unselfish loving actions. Feelings of love can be recaptured when we do that.

Our Lord gave guidance for when conflicts disturb our relationships. He said, “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24).

Jesus makes several important points. First, he is acknowledging that there will be times when brothers and sisters, and husbands and wives, will have disagreements and offences. He tells us what to do about them. Resolving conflict is better than retreating from conflict.

Then he says, “Go.” Take the initiative. Make the effort. For husbands and wives, it may mean hiring a sitter for the children so the couple can go on a date to talk through some issues. It may mean admitting, “I’m not satisfied with myself and our lack of time together.” It may require an apology for words spoken or offending behavior.

Third, Jesus said to make it a priority. Do it now. Set everything aside to make things right. Relational conflicts can hinder our worship of God. We should seek reconciliation with others before we come to God in worship. Managing conflict is a sign of emotional and spiritual maturity.

It’s work. But it works.

Pastor Randy Faulkner

Posted on

Why Marriage Matters

Marriage is more than a piece of paper. The New Testament tells us that it is a covenant centered in Jesus Christ. It is an expression, in physical and relational terms, of the love of God. For this reason, it is said to be a “profound mystery” (Ephesians 5:32).

There are three great mysteries in Christian theology. One is the Trinity. Another is the incarnation of God in Jesus Christ. The third is the mystery of marriage as a picture of Christ and his love for the church. Marriage is more than physical attraction, more than emotional compatibility. The great goal of Christian marriage is spiritual one-ness, the relationship of a man and a woman centered in Jesus.

James Boice went so far as to say that no one would be able to understand the truest, deepest meaning of marriage who is not submitted to Jesus Christ. He said that no marriage could attain its true potential unless those in the relationship pursue it according to God’s standards.

Marriage matters because it teaches us who we are. Ephesians 5 says that Christian believers are God’s “dearly loved children” (v. 1), and “children of light” (v.8). As such, we are told to “find out what pleases the Lord” (v. 10) and live accordingly. Marriage holds up a mirror to our lives and exposes us to the reality of who we really are in relation to God’s word (vv. 3-21).

Professor Howard Hendricks was speaking at a conference and an eager young man came up to him after his talk. He called Hendricks “a great man.” On the drive home Hendricks turned to his wife and said, “A great man. How many great men do you know?” “One fewer then you think,” she answered. Professor Hendricks often told that story on himself to demonstrate that God gives good wives to husbands to help them keep their feet on the ground.

In his book Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas wrote, “What marriage has done for me is hold up a mirror to my sin. It forces me to face myself honestly and consider my character flaws, selfishness, and anti-Christian attitudes, encouraging me to be sanctified and cleansed and to grow in godliness.”

Thomas Hart wrote, “In and through our spouse, God becomes real to us in human form. There is a flesh-and-blood person sitting next to me who flinches when she sees what should make me flinch, but doesn’t — and I see my hard heart exposed by her soft one.”

Marriage matters because it teaches us how to live. Ephesians 5:21-33 contains an eloquent, inspired description of Christ-centered marriage. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,” it says. This means that in a Christian marriage, each lives for the other. This contradicts abuse, permissiveness, independence, and selfishness.

Verses 22-24 describe unselfish wives. As they submit to the Lord, they adapt themselves to their husbands, who are assigned leadership in the home. The husband’s role is not authoritarian dictatorship, but loving, responsible servant-leadership.

Unselfish husbands (v.25) will love their wives as Christ loved the church, sacrificing their own interests, as necessary, as Christ sacrificed himself for the church. In this way, the Christian husband loves his wife, elevating, honoring, and serving her. Marriage teaches husbands to love their wives as they love themselves (v.33).

The ability to live unselfishly does not come naturally. It is supernatural. It comes from the Holy Spirit (v. 18). It is God’s Spirit who gives us the power to live unselfishly.

I read a beautiful story that illustrates this principle. It comes from an old Jewish fable about how the spot was chosen for God’s holy temple. Two brothers worked a common field and a common mill. Each night they divided whatever grain they produced and each took his portion home.

One brother was single and one was married with a large family. The single brother decided that his married brother needed more grain than he did, so at night he secretly crept over to his brother’s granary and gave him an extra portion. The married brother realized that his single brother didn’t have children to care for him in his old age. Concerned about his brother’s future, he got up at night and secretly deposited some grain in his single brother’s granary.

One night they met halfway between the two granaries, and each realized what the other was doing. They embraced, and as the story goes, God witnessed what happened and said, “This is a holy place — a place of love — and it is here that my temple shall be built.” It is this kind of unselfishness that should characterize a marriage.

Marriage matters because it has been created by God himself to make known his love in human relationships. In Christian marriage human beings discover themselves, discover each other, and learn to live together in a way that pleases God.

Pastor Randy Faulkner

Posted on

Functional Families in a Dysfunctional World

“The family has lost its way in America,” wrote counselor and author Gary Chapman. He was one of the featured speakers in family life conferences at Metropolitan Baptist Church in Oklahoma City when I was pastor there. We hosted these popular events in January for several years because of the obvious need for guidance for married couples and parents.

Judith Wallerstein was a research professor at the University of California at Berkeley. She wrote, “The kind of society we have in the future will depend on how we address relationships within the family.” She observed that the social forces supporting healthy family life are weakening.

Among these social forces are trends such as co-habitation. Couples living together without being married is now accepted as normal. Social psychologists play down the fact that this trend is a failure as a testing ground for marriage, with a much higher divorce rate among married couples who co-habited before getting married.

Other changes in moral norms include acceptance of non-traditional families, a culture of divorce, and widespread cynicism about traditional marriage. Millions of young adults, many of whom say they have never seen a happy marriage, are cautious about entering it.

Yet research on the American family indicates that lifelong monogamous marriage is associated with positive outcomes in every measure of social and emotional health. Children who grow up with a father and a mother do better in school, have better physical health, can expect to have longer lives, and have better economic advantages. “A stable, two-parent family is a child’s best protection against poverty,” said one researcher.

Many academic studies on family life research problems but offer little authoritative moral and spiritual guidance. This was one of the reasons we offered, in January, after the busy and stressful holiday season, an opportunity for couples to find practical help for their marriages and for their roles as parents. We believed that the best help would come from the wisdom of the Bible. It proved to be true for hundreds of couples and I am glad we did it.

For example, the Book of Proverbs is a treasury of ancient wisdom offering guidance for right living in the highest sense. It teaches that marriage is a covenant made with God (Proverbs 2:17). It is much more than a contract made with society.

Proverbs has much to say about parenting and the roles of parents in imparting wisdom to children (Proverbs 2:1-2; 3:1-2). This means that they will spend time together. Surveys of teachers and police officers conclude that the leading cause of teen violence is lack of supervision at home. Gary Chapman wrote that “the words ‘I love you,’ apart from spending quality time with a child, will seem like empty chatter. The parent’s words may be sincere, but the child will not feel loved.”

Healthy communication is another characteristic of healthy family life. Read Proverbs chapters 4 and 5 to see how sound teaching, guidance, and wisdom for living are imparted. Wisdom is the great goal (Proverbs 2:2-12). Wisdom is the knowledge and skill to follow in the ways of God.

Robert Lewis wrote, “Healthy families are characterized by strong, supportive, honest communication. They talk to one another about everything. They turn off the TV and ask questions. They are committed to Ephesians 4:28 — ‘Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment.'”

An atmosphere of appreciation is another trait that may be learned from the book of Proverbs. Note how many of the proverbs reflect honor to wives. “A prudent wife is from the Lord” (Proverbs 19:14). “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband” (Proverbs 12:4). Proverbs 31:10-31 is a famous tribute to the wife of noble character. Gary Smalley wrote that “high admiration is an anchor for relationships.” John Gottman of the University of Washington concluded a 25 year study of hundreds of marriages by saying that “one of the indicators of happy marriages is showing respect and honor.”

Spiritual commitment is woven through the Book of Proverbs. It is assumed to be the foundation of a life lived well. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding” (Proverbs 9:10).

Unsurprisingly, this was one of the components of strong families that were identified in a major international research study led by Dr. Nick Stinnett of the University of Nebraska. He found six main qualities of strong families. They are committed to the family, they spend time together, they have good communication, they express appreciation to each other, they are able to solve problems in a crisis, and they have a spiritual commitment.

While not prescribing what that spiritual commitment should be, the researchers left the door wide open for good churches, pastors and parents to define it. It is summarized in Proverbs 22:6 — “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

Pastor Randy Faulkner

 

Posted on

Revival in 2026?

I remember when, as the pastor of a local congregation, I asked the church to come together for corporate prayer at the start of a new year. We spent time in confession of sin. We committed the ministries of the church to the Lord. We prayed for our nation. We prayed for missionaries around the world. We prayed for unity and love to prevail in our congregational life.

We knelt. There are many postures associated with prayer in the Bible. One of them is kneeling. “For this reason I kneel before the Father,” Paul said in Ephesians 3:14.

Over 100 years ago in Wales a revival movement was begun through prayer. Thousands of people were brought to faith in Christ. The influence of the revival led to moral reform in towns and cities all over the country. Christians who had grown cold and indifferent in their faith became fervent again. They confessed sin and began to seek to please God by living holy lives. Churches were filled with eager worshippers. Newspapers published stories about the progress of the revival.

A young preacher named Evan Roberts had limited education, but he knew how to pray and to lead others to pray. God used him in a significant way to further the spiritual awakening. But chroniclers of the movement are careful to point out that it was not Roberts but the Lord Jesus who was the center of attraction. He knew, and the people knew, that he was not the secret of the success of the revival, but only one of the Lord’s chosen instruments.

If Roberts was invited to preach in a church or town, he said he would come on only one condition: that no announcement would be made as to where he would be speaking. He wanted the people to come to the meetings to meet the Lord Jesus, not just to hear him. And thousands came. Surely it was this kind of humble dependence on the Lord that made room for the Spirit to move. The spiritual awakening spread from Wales throughout England and to other parts of the world.

From this we learn that genuine revival is a supernatural intervention of God in the lives of Christians. It cannot be programmed or scheduled by humans. It produces repentance and confession of sin. It results in instant obedience to the known will of God. It produces changes (uncomfortable corrections) in the lives of God’s people. Revival is not the same thing as evangelism, but when God’s people are revived, many people are converted to Christ.

We cannot, by human means, produce a revival. But we may certainly pray for revival. No nation on earth is in greater need of a spiritual awaking than our own in 2026. What if individual believers began to pray for revival in their own lives? What if these believers gathered a few friends to pray specifically for God to revive them, and their churches? What would happen?

Jesus said he would be present when two or three gathered in his name. Believers would be built up by the “one another” encouragement of others. We would discover there is more than one way to look at an issue and to pray about it. We would benefit from the faith of others as we pray together. United prayer pleases God, especially when it is the prayer, “your will be done.”

Is it God’s will to send a revival in 2026? We may pray for it. The Welsh revival was a revival of prayer. God listens when his children pray.

Pastor Randy Faulkner