The Only Perfect Father

There is a medieval legend about a man who observed three stone masons at their work. He asked them what they were doing. The first said, “I am laying stones.” The second said, “I am building a wall.” The third said, “I am raising a cathedral!” It was the third who had a an expansive vision for the outcome of his task. He understood something of the value of his contribution.

If you pose that question to fathers, you might get similar replies. “I am earning a living.” “I am putting bread on the family table.” “I am rearing young lives for God.” Theologian Merrill C. Tenney captured the thought in lines he wrote to his son.

To you, O son of mine, I cannot give a vast estate of wide and fertile lands/ But I can keep for you the whilst I live, unstained hands.

I have no treasure chest of gold refined, no hoarded wealth of clinking, glittering pelf/ I give to you my hand and heart and mind — all of myself.

I can exert no mighty influence to make a place for you in men’s affairs/ But lift to God in secret audience unceasing prayers.

I cannot, though I would, be always near to guard your steps with the parental rod/ I trust your soul to Him who holds you dear, your father’s God.

That last phrase, “your father’s God,” reminds me of James 1:17, where we learn that “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

I think this is an important truth for Fathers’ Day. God wants us to know him as a father, a good and generous father. Some people have trouble with this idea because their human fathers were neglectful, critical or abusive. Some people (an increasing number these days) grow up without a father in their lives at all. For some people memories of “father” are buried so deeply inside that  it may be terrifying or painful to bring them out.

Even those of us whose fathers were kind and good would be reluctant to say that they were perfect. No human dad is a perfect father.

Christian writer Grant Swank, Jr. told about having a bit of a tussle with his  7-year-old son before bed. “We were not seeing eye-to-eye on the matter, and I felt as if the evening had been rather botched up. I did not like the feeling at all.” As his boy lay with his face turned away, the father sat on the edge of the bed for the usual bedtime prayer, wondering if he should turn it into a mini-lecture. It was hard to find the right words.

He said his boy knew he had done wrong and he was wondering what approach his dad would take. Would it be justice, or mercy?

So he closed his eyes to pray. “Dear Lord, thank you for my boy. You know how much I love him. He means the world to me. Thank you for giving him to us. May he always serve you. Now we thank you for this night’s sleep. Be near us all. And may tomorrow be  a good day. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Swank wrote, “Then he swung his body around toward me and hugged me tightly around the neck. His eyes were closed tight.”

“Daddy, do you love me even when I’m bad?” he asked in my ear. “Yes,” I answered. “I always love you.”

“With that he said one of the most encouraging statements known to mankind: ‘You’re the best daddy in the world.'”

“Right then I promised myself something. Yes, there is still much room for improvement as far as my being a father is concerned. I have goofed from time to time Yet that night I told my memory to hold on to the innocent testimony of a little boy to a father who was sincerely trying. ‘You’re the best daddy in the world.'”

Our heavenly Father invites us to come to him as a Father who loves perfectly and who gives the best and most perfect gifts, the gifts of himself, the gift of his Son, the gift of his Spirit, the gifts of salvation and eternal life. He is never neglectful, abusive or critical. God is the only perfect father.

James tells us our heavenly Father does not change like a shifting shadow. He is consistent and reliable. He is faithful to his promises. His love never stops. The next verse (James 1:18) says, “He chose to give us birth by the word of truth.” God makes us his children through spiritual rebirth. This happens when we believe the word of the gospel concerning his Son’s death and resurrection for our sins.

We who are far from perfect as earthly fathers can try to be more like our heavenly Father: consistent, generous, and merciful. We can be fully present in our children’s lives, giving them the best gifts we can give them, the gift of ourselves, and the gift of God’s salvation.

Pastor Randy Faulkner

 

“Here is Your Mother”

Compounding the agonies of dying by crucifixion, was the sorrow Jesus felt for his sorrowing mother. The tenderness of his care for her contrasts with the savage brutality of the scene. The gospel of John gives us our Lord’s third statement from the cross. “He said to her, ‘Woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother'” (John 19:27).

Think of the bravery of Mary, following the mob to Calvary, standing at the foot of the cross, watching her son being shamed and tortured. We can only imagine the depth of her anguish as she endured the mockery and hatred directed at Jesus. Surely this was a fulfillment of the prophecy of the aged Simeon, who, in Jesus’ infancy, had said to Mary, “A sword will pierce your own soul” (Luke 2:35).

The unnamed disciple is “the disciple whom he loved,” universally understood to be the writer of this story. The apostle John was a son of Zebedee, who owned a fishing business in Galilee. His mother may have been Salome, a sister of Mary. If this is true, then John was Jesus’ cousin. (See Mark 1:20, 15:40; Matthew 27:46; John 19:25.) This may help explain why the Lord entrusted the care of his mother to her nephew. John was familiar to her, staying with her now, supporting her in her grief. It is clear that the Lord Jesus was asking John to care for her as he would his own mother.

John 19:27 says John “took her to his own home.” The inference is that he took her away immediately to a dwelling he maintained in Jerusalem. We know Mary stayed in Jerusalem for many weeks after this because  later we find her in the upper room praying with the other disciples (Acts 1:14). The scriptures are silent about her remaining years. Did she return to Galilee? Did she accompany the apostle John to Ephesus, where tradition tells us he concluded his ministry?

The fact that Jesus did not entrust her to other family members is probably due to the fact that his half-brothers did not believe in him at this time. Yes, Jesus had brothers and sisters who were born to Joseph and Mary after he, the “firstborn son,” was born (Luke 2:7; Matthew 1:25). The scripture says that at first his natural brothers did not believe in him (Mark 6:3-4; John 7:5). After his resurrection, however, they became believers and joined the other disciples (Acts 1:14).

Jesus addressed her as “woman.” The expression may be close to the British “my lady,” or the common American “ma’am.” This is not the only time our Lord spoke to his mother this way (John 2:4). Devout Bible students have come to the conclusion that when Jesus was anointed by the Holy Spirit to begin his public ministry, something changed in his formal relationship to his mother. He was now committed to the work his Father in heaven had given him to do  (Matthew 12:46). He was carrying out his role as Messiah.

The emotional distance implied in this form of address meant that she must hereafter be subservient to him as Savior and Lord. This implies no disrespect toward his mother. But it indicates his recognition that she is now to be numbered among his followers. The mother/son relationship is now woman/Lord.

It was a great honor to John that Jesus trusted him for this sacred duty. It is a testimony to his loyal love. No doubt John considered it a privilege to serve his Lord by caring for his mother for the rest of her life.

Pastor Randy Faulkner

I’m Going To Jail

Recently one of my racquetball buddies and I were talking after a match. “Will you be here tomorrow?” he asked. I told him no because I would be in jail. This piqued his curiosity and he wanted to know what I meant.

I told him about my ministry as a volunteer chaplain with Oklahoma Jail and Prison Ministry. He kept asking questions. He seemed to really want to know what it was like. I described the sixth floor chaplain’s office at the Oklahoma County Jail. I shared how the inmates come there because they want prayer, they want hope, and they want to hear from God’s Word.

This led to a frank conversation about the gospel, the Lord’s offer of forgiveness and new life in Christ. He listened respectfully as I told him that this is what we all need, whether we are prisoners in a jail or “respectable” people on the outside. We are all sinners. I told him about the Lord’s gracious offer of eternal life through faith in Jesus the Savior. He’s thinking about all this and I am praying for him.

One of the questions he asked had to do with why I would want to do this. I told him I do this because I have been blessed with a great spiritual heritage and excellent training. Most of the people I meet in the jail have not had these advantages. I feel a responsibility to share the blessings I have been given.

Another thing I told my friend is that prisoners are human beings created in the image of God. As such they have value in his sight. I told him what George Rennix said some time ago: “When I go into the jail I want  to consider those inmates more valuable than myself,” commenting on Philippians 2:3. I want the same thing. I think one reason prisoners want to see a chaplain is that they are treated with respect as they are told about God’s love for them.

As a retired pastor I have the Bible knowledge, the desire to share the gospel, and the discretionary time which allows me to serve. The inmates are spiritually hungry, and most of them are receptive to the message. There is a great need for chaplains, and it is a privilege to serve the Lord in this way.

I also told my friend about the joy I feel when a person, broken by sin and repentant, opens his heart to Jesus Christ to receive the gift of eternal life through faith alone. There is joy in the presence of the angels (Luke 15:10), and there is joy in the Oklahoma County Jail.

I appreciate the prayers in the little book Valley of Vision. Here is one that sums up my motivation for ministry in the jail.

Thou hast knowledge of my soul’s secret principles and art aware of my desire to spread the gospel.

Make me an almoner (one who gives generously) to give thy bounties to the indigent,

comfort to the mentally ill,

restoration to the sin-diseased,

hope to the despairing,

joy to the sorrowing,

love to the prodigals.

Blow away the ashes of unbelief by Thy Spirit’s breath and give me light, fire and warmth of love. Amen

For more information about Oklahoma Jail and Prison Ministry, go to www.ojpm.org, or call 405-917-2242.

Pastor Randy Faulkner