It has been almost a year since I received the diagnosis that I have Parkinson’s Disease. The tremor in my left arm and hand had been becoming more pronounced for several months. So when I was able to see a neurologist in Oklahoma City, his verdict was not surprising to me.
Friends near and far have inquired about how I am doing. This little report is an attempt to answer them. I hope I can give thoughtful answers without complaining. I know, as my neurologist has gently reminded me, that my symptoms could be worse than they are. But the reality is that I am facing a new reality. Part of the new reality is simply brought on by aging; part of it is defined by Parkinson’s.
I’ve been a pastor for over fifty years and that involves public ministry. The embarrassment of conspicuous shaking as I speak is a distraction to me and I can only imagine what it must be like to those who are watching and listening. Is that vanity on my part?
Recently I experienced a really bad “brain freeze” while I was preaching. The words simply would not come forth! Was that due to the aging process? Did Parkinson’s have something to do with it? Only the Lord knows. But I will keep on preaching and teaching as long as he keeps on providing opportunities.
The Parkinson’s diagnosis influenced our decision to move from Oklahoma to be near our daughter Carrie and her family in Valdosta, Georgia. Connie and I live in a lovely retirement community. Our apartment is comfortable, the food is good, and our neighbors are congenial. We have joined a nearby Baptist church where we worship with our family. We have made new friends in our Sunday School Class.
Medically, I am on my third prescription, The med they call the “gold standard” didn’t work for me. The second med didn’t calm the tremor either. Now I am trying a third drug which works wonders for some people. I’ve been taking it for a month in increasing doses and I am supposed to call the doctor to tell him whether it has made a difference. I don’t know what he may have up his sleeve when I tell him the news that I can’t shake the shakes.
As I write this, I say to myself, “Stop whining Randy! Get on with life! God is good!” I remember what the patriarch Job said, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised” (Job 1:21). That’s the attitude I want to have as I learn to deal with the progressive and incurable nature of Parkinson’s. I want my first instincts to be like Job’s: to respond to God in worship, in spite of everything.
For a really good example of a response to a Parkinson’s diagnosis read this article by one of my favorite writers, Philip Yancey. Philip Yancey’s Story
Pastor Randy Faulkner